Parting
by the shattered star
Summary: Robin tries to find a way to tell those he cares about that he is going to fight in the Holy Lands. Marian's response is not exactly what he expected... Rated T just to be safe.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N Hey all! I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I did writing it! I wrote it at around midnight, mind you, so sorry for typos or whatnot, but I did make an effort to look through it before publishing. ;) Reviews are very welcome! **

_Parting_

Robin let out a sigh as he approached Knighton Hall, unsure of what to say. Edward had been like a father to him for the past two years, and he wasn't sure how to tell him about his decision.

He knocked once upon the door. It was thrust open immediately and he was greeted by her face. He was very much tempted to hug her, but he didn't, knowing that wouldn't make things any easier. Her features lit up into a smile for a moment before she spoke. "Robin," she said, her voice low and melodic. "We… er… weren't expecting you. I hope you won't be wanting dinner."

"No, nothing like that," Robin said, chuckling at the way Marian could make the most simple encounter into a trap. "I wanted to speak with your father."

"Oh. Of course," Marian said, looking slightly disappointed. "Father!" she called. "It's Robin!" Robin could hear Edward's feet on the steps and he smiled as the latter sidled up to the door.

"Robin! Come in, come in!" he said.

"I wanted to speak with you privately," Robin said, brushing off his cloak and handing it to a servant who hung it near the door. "If you don't mind of course."

"Of course not! Marian," Edward said, motioning towards the stairs. Marian narrowed her eyes at Robin and huffed as she climbed the steps. "Now, what was it you wanted to speak to me about?"

"I'm going to the Holy Lands to fight with the King." The words left his mouth like rapid canon fires.

"You… what?" Edward looked at Robin for a moment before saying anything. He sat down and looked at Robin sadly. "Well, I can't say I wasn't expecting it…" he mumbled. "When do you leave?"

"To-morrow afternoon. I make for Portsmouth and then I'll take a ship from there."

Edward sighed. "Well, I shall miss you, my boy."

"Much is coming with me." Robin said, unable to keep the small smile off his face.

"Is he?" Edward said, also smiling. "Good. Very good." He seemed distracted and Robin thought it was best to keep quiet. After a moment, Edward spoke. "I'll be praying for your safe return. Do your best to come back, won't you?"

Robin placed his hand on the older man's shoulder and squeezed it gently. "I will." Robin had tried to time this so Edward wouldn't be suspicious. He gulped before he asked his question. "Would you mind if I told Marian myself?"

"Hmm… what? Of course not…" Robin could see he needn't have been worried; Edward's thoughts were much too preoccupied to think about his intentions towards Marian.

Robin ascended the stairs slowly, perfectly aware that what he was about to do would probably pain Marian more than he could imagine. If their situations had been reversed, he didn't know what he would do. He knocked upon her door remembering the time he had forgotten. He had caught her in her shift, almost naked. He remembered the way her shift clung to her; it made her look as fragile as the wings of a butterfly, her silhouette trembling. Then, of course, she had thrown a hairbrush at him, screaming bloody murder. Robin smiled fondly at the memory, rubbing his chin thoughtfully.

"Come in," a voice called from within, tearing Robin away from his thoughts. Robin opened the door greeted by the sight of Marian brushing out her long, flowing dark hair. He wished he could preserve the sight somehow and take it with him to the Holy Lands. "Oh, it's you. I thought it was father," Marian said, wrapping a shawl around her shoulders.

"I want to tell you something…"

"What's that?" Marian asked nonchalantly, though Robin could see her fingers shaking.

"It's hard to say…"

"Are you afraid I'll get mad at you?" Marian asked, half laughing.

Robin raised his eyebrows. "I _know _you will."

"Come on, what is it, then?"

"I'm leaving."

"What do you mean?" Marian asked, her voice high-pitched and scared.

"I'm going to war. I'm going to the Holy Lands to fight alongside the king to-morrow."

Marian was silent for a moment, then, "why?"

"Because I believe it is the right thing to do. I could help; you've seen me with my bow." Robin looked away; he could see this news was hurting her and it pained him to watch.

"I can't believe you, Robin, I really can't!"

"What— What do you mean?" Robin asked, thoroughly bemused.

"You would abandon your country in such times as these to fight in a godforsaken _war?_"

"I would be serving England! Think of all the men that are dying; I can't just stay here and let them!"

"That's right, Robin, always looking for an easy way out."

"What's that supposed to mean?" he yelled, enraged by her words.

"You think that by going to war you'll become the perfect man? Well you won't, Robin! War will make you mad!"

"That's your greatest worry? That I'll go mad?"

"Well, if you expect me to be worried for your life…"

Robin shook his head. This was definitely not what he had expected. He turned to Marian and in a voice quieter than a whisper said, "I didn't realize my life was of so little consequence to you." He turned to the door. "You are not yourself, Marian." As he closed the door, he caught a glimpse of her face. He could've sworn there were tears running down it.

"I heard screaming, shouting—"

"Calm down, Edward, I'm leaving," Robin snapped.

"Farewell, Robin," Edward whispered as Robin rode off. The latter did not respond.

* * *

><p>As he rode back to Locksley, one though kept running through his head: <em>She thinks me a coward. <em>How could she; he was doing this for her! Well, not exactly, but did she honestly think he hadn't though of her whilst making his decision?

Robin took a bath upon his return to Locksley manor, trying to ignore the bustle of people trying to make sure the Lord of Locksley had everything he needed for his upcoming expeditions. Robin was so irritated that he snapped at Much, who, affronted, left in a huff.

As he lay in bed trying to get some sleep before leaving, Robin found his mind plagued with terrible images, mostly consisting of dead men sprawled out on the ground. He kept seeing Marian's face, eyes wide open, an arrow through her chest, lying there, looking shocked. He tried to close her eyes, but they wouldn't close. As sleep finally claimed his exhausted brain, he only wished he could see Marian one last time…

* * *

><p>"Robin!" His eyes flew open at the whisper and he sat up, afraid of the shadows. He felt a cool breeze on his right arm and turned to find the window open. A hooded figure stood above him and he almost screamed with fright. "It's only me," the figure said, slipping off her hood.<p>

"Marian!" Robin exclaimed, colour surging back into his cheeks. "Wait, this isn't a dream, is it?" he asked, confused. In response, Marian punched his shoulder. "Doesn't feel like a dream," he groaned, eyes watering in pain.

The moon poured into his room and he could see her smile. "I wanted to apologize. For what I said earlier, I mean. I didn't want you to leave…" Marian bit her lip, looking unsure of what to say.

Robin was still groggy from sleep. "Did you climb up here?" he asked incredulously.

"Yes, but that's beside the point!"

"Oh, right. Er… Apology accepted?"

"Good, but I actually had a proposition for you," Marian said, smiling craftily.

"A proposition, eh?" Robin said, smiling. He moved over and she sat on the bed next to him. "What sort of proposition?" he asked, trying to keep his tone light. He was finding it difficult not to simple hold Marian in his arms for the rest of the night; he didn't know when— or even _if_— he would see her again, and that though hurt him the most.

"One I think you'll like," Marian said mysteriously.

"Out with it then!"

"I'll marry you," she blurted out. There was a silence as the words registered in Robin's brain. "But only if you stay." Robin closed his eyes in defeat. He couldn't do this, not on the eve before he left! Yes, this would have been his perfect image of life, being married to Marian, but he didn't want it just because he was leaving! He wanted her to love him as he did her!

"Marian," he said gently, taking her hands in his. "Believe me, I—"

She cut him off with a kiss. "Please," she begged. "I know you love me as I love you." Robin looked to find tears in her eyes. "Stay for me, and we can help all those who have fallen victim to the war! You'll still be doing good, only with me as your wife… and at home." She looked at him imploringly.

"Marian, you're not just saying this because you know it's what I want to hear, are you?" Robin asked suspiciously, still trying to recover his senses from the unexpected kiss. Why did she have to do this right now when he had his mind so firmly made up to leave? Marian's eyes softened and this time Robin was prepared for the kiss. She leaned I and as her lips fell upon his, he kissed her back, even though his heard was aching. His arm found its way to her back, holding her securely.

"Now, is that really the kiss of a liar?" Marian asked, still trying to keep her tears at bay.

"No, it isn't," Robin murmured thoughtfully. _But it's not enough to make me stay, _he thought.

"Will you stay?"

"I will," Robin said, lying through his teeth and kissing her cheek. "I will," he whispered. He looked at Marian and found her exhausted eyes. "Sleep here?" he asked gently. He was beyond caring at this point. This was the last opportunity he would get to sleep next to the woman who loved him, he was certain. For even if he did return, what he was about to do was unforgivable. She nodded and closed the window before pulling off her soft boots and getting under the blankets. "I love you," he whispered, almost choking on invisible tears.

"I love you too," Marian said, smiling as Robin snaked his arms around her waist.

"Sleep," he murmured.

* * *

><p>Robin arose with the sun and almost cried out when he saw her just lying there, hair strewn across the pillows. "Dearest," he whispered. "You'd best be off."<p>

Marian woke, stretched and kissed him gently before leaving. "Come to Knighton Hall later today," she whispered in his ear before leaving by the window.

Robin knew why; she wanted him to ask her father for permission to marry. She would hate him for what he was about to do, he knew.

* * *

><p>The sun had set and he hadn't come. Marian knew something was wrong, so she mounted her horse and rode out to Locksley.<p>

"Oh, he left around midday. For the Holy Lands, you know," one of his servants told her.

The numbness set in, and Marian couldn't even scream. She didn't even feel frightened. Thoughts circled her head in a kaleidoscope of colours. _He left me, _she thought, bringing her fingers to her lips. _He lied. _After a time, she was able to cry, but after she had mopped up the tears, she honestly couldn't say what would hurt her more: if he came back or if he died.

**A/N So I would really appreciate reviews with constructive criticisms or whatnot. I haven't decided as of yet whether to make this a complete story, or continuing it; let me know what you think in your reviews! Thanks! Bisous ~ the shattered star**


	2. Thoughts

There were so many corpses that it was difficult to find a path through the bodies without stepping on someone. Robin looked upon the sight and realized for the first time how hot and sweaty he was. He turned away and bit the back of his hand hard enough to draw blood in order to prevent himself from being sick. He inhaled deeply through his nose, trying to shake the feeling of a thousand ghosts following him. Something had happened to him; he had almost no memory of shooting anyone, yet the marksmanship on the bodies was so precise that he had no doubt of the hand that killed them.

He trudged away, slowly at first, then breaking into a run, trying desperately to escape the masses of ghosts he was sure were pursuing him. Just as thought he had outrun them, he looked back to find someone he was sure didn't belong there.

"Marian?" he whispered, shocked. He stood there, shaking as her ethereal form reached out a hand to him. She was wearing something white and flowing, and she appeared to be glowing.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, an arrow pierced her chest and she fell, her serene features contorting.

"Marian!" Robin screamed.

His eyes flew open and he awoke to find himself in his tent, tangled in the sheets, a fine sheen of sweat on his skin.

"Master?" Much asked, looking into Robin's eyes. Robin looked at him for a moment, before realizing that what he had just witnessed was a dream.

"Only a dream, Much," Robin muttered, flinging the covers away and rubbing his neck before leaving tent.

"Where are you going?" Much demanded, following his master.

"To get some air. Alone."

"I hope he gets _slaughtered!" _Marian said forcefully as she brushed out an especially difficult tangle. "Arrogant bastard thinks he can get away with anything…" she muttered. Robin had been gone over half a year, and she was still ranting about his leaving.

As she was pulling the brush though another lock of hair, it got caught in another tangle, and as she pulled, the handle snapped off the brush. The bristles and the head of the brush were still in her hair as she collapsed into a chair, her eyes watery. She was so foolish, so _stupid_, to think that he would stay for her. Of course he would leave and make her feel ashamed; she didn't know why she expected otherwise. Yet she could not stop the words that left her lips. "Please, come back to me."

She hated not knowing if he was dead or alive. She had promised herself long ago that she would cease all thought related to Robin of Locksley, but her thoughts kept returning to him. _If only he had stayed… _she thought.

She had penned several letters to him, but had failed to send any. She didn't know what she should say and she doubted very much that he would receive them. She had tried to find something in which to throw herself: a cause to fight for, but there was nothing she could do in England. She spent her days much as she had before she knew him. She woke late in an effort to make the days shorter and did almost nothing. The only time she felt like she was somehow connected to him was when she rode out on her mare, sometimes up to twenty miles away from Knighton Hall. Her father was too busy to notice her long absences and her maid rarely bothered to tell her what she thought.

Despite everything, she wished him home safely. She sometimes felt as if her thoughts would keep him safe, though she knew the idea was ludicrous. She wondered often if thoughts of her kept him up half the night, as they did her.

Robin wandered away from the camp until he found a quiet, dark spot that seemed to be deserted. He sat in the sand and cradled his head in his hands. His intention was never this. He wasn't meant to go mad, he was meant to fight for England! And for her. She was always on his mind, to the point that he found himself distracted several times a day.

He wished for leave so that he could see her, but as the flow of young soldiers had started to trickle, he doubted he would be going home anytime soon. Regardless, his thoughts strayed to her. He wondered if she thought of him often. Probably not at this point. It had been over six months, and he doubted she even remembered his face. It was probably easier to forget the face of one who had lied to you the night before he left for war, he mused.

The cool night air released the pent up tension in his muscles, and he slowly extended his limbs and lay on his back, his hands folded under his head. He closed his eyes and traced the contours of her face with his mind. He wondered if she had ever been driven sleepless by thoughts of him, as he had of her.

**Thanks for reading! Bisous ~ the shattered star**


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